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Today is February 17th, 2012 and my “Meriod” seems to be a few days early. I am getting better at realizing the signs and today I have noticed the beginning of my emotional rollercoaster. It started at college (where I am a 32 year old senior) and has become very prevalent that I am bugging out. Let’s backtrack a little though and let me explain one of my weak spots while I am “Men-strating”.
If you read my earlier post you can see that there are a few anomalies that affect my “Meriod.” And I quote, “I suddenly feel bad for short men (not midgets though, they understand what they are up against), overweight pre-teens, and any other misfit to society.” I don’t know what my sensitivity is to these things but a problem definitely exists. I am 5’10 and ¾ (we all know you round up so I am technically 5’11). Yet I have a soft spot in my heart for any short man. Now I don’t judge and I don’t base my thoughts or opinions on a man’s size, yet many females do. They say things like “Girl he’s cute, but I can’t mess with him. He’s only 5’4.” Ask Kevin Hart. He based his whole career around this fact.
Also, you have two types of short men. There is the one who compensates too much by telling you things like, “They call me Pit-bull because I go crazy on anyone disrespecting me” while his legs swing from the barstool. Then there is the unconfident introvert. It has to be hard in society. I hide my thinning hair with a hat. Women hide blemishes with make-up. A short man hides his height deficiency with…
humor, ego, a pained smirk revealing that he noticed you sizing hum and have acknowledged his new-found position as a placated threat.
Something primitive in men makes us have a good old modern day chest beating when new social situations arise. Like dogs peeing on a certain tree we like to mark our territory. Example: someone new works at your significant other’s job. You hear a couple stories and you think “I don’t like this charming clever dude. I gotta see this guy.” In your mind you picture Brad Pitt mixed with Stringer Bell. You see dude and he is 5’3 with a big ass forehead.
First thought: “I’ll pick his little ass up if he tries something.” Now regardless of how I can empathize with him and his inability to ride all the rides at Six Flags, I still have that initial thought. I could only imagine what women think. Imagine a grown ass man picking up another grown man. Not even slamming him or shaking him, just picking him up. That is the ultimate non-verbal insult. It is worse than punching or even worse than smacking him open hand. Their legs kicking like their riding an invisible, stationary bike or treading water, the whole time yelling some little kid shit like “Quit it” or “Put me down.”
Take a second to think of that in your mind’s eye. I’ll wait…………….. more…